chris rock bigger and blacker script

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Just a…. You got pecs, I got Tecs. She put the security of the free world in jeopardy… and she needs to suffer the consequences for her actions. I’m in the car. You ain’t saving no college money, you saving bail money. l think all bullets should cost $5,000.

That’s right, man.

Any copyright material mirrored on this site is intended for private personal study. I don’t think you’ll see their pictures hanging up… in your grandmamma’s living room. “They’re chasing me. ”Motherfucker, cracker-ass, motherfucker cracker! Pig feet. “I know you did it, just admit it.

Broke-ass, living in a trailer home, eating mayonnaise sandwiches, fucking their sister, listening to John Cougar Mellancamp records! lt ain’t gonna work. ”Livin’ la vida loca! Let me get something to drink! Could l help you to some dick? So I went to community college, and I said ??? Your brain’s all cloudy and foggy. That guy they met at the club … The guy they fucked in the club that night, or that time they fucked Bobby Brown! That’s right. Rock hosted the 77th Academy Awards in 2005 and the 88th in 2016. I run out of the car. But if you make 30 000 … and your wife wants 15 … … You might have to kill her! Niggas have! Fuck you, nigger! You got a gun, you don’t have to work out. No, it is not. Lick your own balls!” See, if you just said it right, you’d been in there.

Failed. Colin can win, he should run!” Can’t win!

You know what GED stands for? Their damn parents need to go to jail for some of this fucking shit, man.

Oh, they showed it all. I run a red light. lt’s like, to call a man out for lying… is like playing basketball with a retarded kid and calling him for double dribble. I said, are you ready?

Can you be a fucking man? Nobody ever says, ”Hey, Daddy, thanks for knocking out this rent.” ”Hey, Daddy, l sure love this hot water.” ”Hey, Daddy, this is easy to read with all this light.” Nobody gives a fuck about Daddy.

-Who l think the black leader should be? They’re like, ”You okay?” l hate them women!

Thank you, New York! And all I heard was: “Where’s the other condom? He just didn’t have nobody to be gay with. Ok. Just tell me the day before and I’ll be there, ok?” No offense, but you’ve got… every man’s got… especially man, you’ve got to settle down. ”Honey, how was your day?” Know why? Don’t vote for crack, vote for smack!” Marion Barry… come on, how are you gonna tell little kids to not get high… when their mayor is on crack?

“I’m right next to you. I’m almost home. First of all, no matter what she’s saying, it is too much for you. What kind of ignorant shit is that? The war on drugs is bullshit, it is the way to get more motherfuckers in jail, that’s all it is … yes! Now what’s Martin Luther King? They don’t cure nothing.

they killed somebody, if a bullet cost $5,000.

You know why?

What the fuck is this shit? They don’t cure shit, they just patch it up. What about the beauty of crack? Expect him to behave this holy way. Copyright owners may, if they wish, request to have material removed by leaving a comment on the relevant page. They’re gonna stop fucking, that’s right. How did he get the ticket? If we had a black vice president right now, I could not have waited to kill the president! ”Who the fuck is you… ”to keep the big piece of chicken? But during the course of a relationship a man grows accustomed to a few things. “. Women, it’s hard to figure women out. “Ok, you go from that corner to that corner.

Black people too happy, white people too mad. I want to hear no shit! (???) You can’t be like, ”l’m going to church, where you going?” ”Hit the pipe!” That relationship ain’t going nowhere. Hungry people aren’t allergic to shit! There’s some brothers that handle their business.

You just talk too much as soon as we get in the fucking door. Who’s more racist, black people or white people? They ain’t gonna have no telethon for you… R. Kelly ain’t singing no song.

Life is catching up to jail!

Can’t cheat! What about the good side of crack? My God!

That’s right, they don’t cure shit. It’s gonna happen to you!

”How dare you keep the big piece of chicken!” A man can’t work hours and come home to a wing. Well, I’d rather get caught stealing some shit from the government than to get caught cheating on a woman. ”Now walk it off!” That’s your family. Hey, you go to a restaurant, you’re accustomed to eating.
When you were single, nobody was thinking about your ugly ass. But we can’t give a fuck about this. You know what’s scary about the AIDS test? What are you talking about?

I think they should just legalize crack. That’s right. l’ll just sprinkle some cinnamon on it.” That’s right. is bullshit. ”Oh, Lord! lt’s good.

You just listen. ”Talk to him, teach him some shit.

Simpson was acquitted of murder charges] O.J. You got a gun, you don't have to work out. What blood’s got to do with it?” (reference to Tina Turner’s “What’s Love Got To Do With It”) That’s the big thing now, domestic abuse! Say it isn’t so! How the fuck do you expect him to sound, dirty motherfucker?

lf you a crackhead, your woman gotta be a crackhead, too… or the shit won’t work. Oh, I hate niggas! Call him Aunt Tom. ??? When you meet somebody for the first time, you’re not meeting them. .

ls that asking for too much? When I go to the money machine at night, right?

Whoever shot you would take their bullet back. Man, I am tired of this shit! But I want some pussy payment!” Am I wrong? You got a weave, your hair ain’t that long.

Chris Rock: Bigger & Blacker Script. A women’s lie is like, ”lt’s your baby.” We’ve all heard that one. That’s it. ! ‘Cause I didn’t know shit about Africa! You know what happens when you fuck around your woman? Shit, if I would be in jail guys would come at me: “Yo, Chris, Chris, yo, man! I do not do that shit.

”Motherfucker cracker. Everything about you is a lie, and you expect me to tell the truth? “Oh, I’ve got it! Only in America we say some bullshit like “red meat can kill you.” We’ve got too much food in America. Everybody needs a prenup. You had to be damn near dead to see the doctor. What do we need, y’all? You’ve met him, he’s been at your house, he ate your food, he drank your wine! Who we got? “Let me ask you this, let me ask you this: “Can you kick my ass?” Oh, niggas worth nothing. 21 Oct. 2020. You had the whole house to yourself. It’s the least he could do. ”l said l can’t walk.

Where do women find the porno at? $ 25,000! Who are the biggest liars, men or women? Black people yelling, ”Racism.” White people yelling, ”Reverse racism.” Chinese people yelling, ”Sideways racism!” And the lndians ain’t yelling shit ’cause they dead. And the woman’s like, ”Fuck me, harder! What the hell is wrong with these white kids shooting up the school? ?, was you? Shit, l know Puerto Ricans when l see them. ”Just make a left, brother.” Racism everywhere, everybody pissed off. Allergic to food! l didn’t say l can’t sit!” That’s right. “Here’s ten dollars, let me get my learn on!”. Relationships: easy to get into, hard to maintain. Do you know what they say, “never say never”? “He’s my bud, my platonic friend!” Men don’t have platonic friends, ok? Stop it! If you got enough uncles, they’ll prepare you for life… ’cause you got every type of uncle. “I’m a-drop me a bomb today!” “I’ll be pres-o-dent!” Get the fuck outta here! be like, ''Damn, he must have did something. “Ok? : “Let me take some shit I know.” So I took a Black history class. Vice-President … you know what? “What is the capital of Zaire?” “I do not know that shit!” “Keepin’ it real!” Niggas love to keep it real!

I’m in the driveway. Three times a day, shit! Really? That’s right, everybody. When you were single, nobody was calling your ass up! Every now and then, we catch ourselves living a lie. You know, we had Martin Luther King, Malcolm X… and ever since then, a bunch of substitute teachers. What the fuck did you expect him to sound like?

Crack is not an encyclopedia, not a fucking vacuum cleaner! Colin Powell’s got a better chance of winning the bronze in female gymnastics … … to being the president of the United States. Who the biggest liars? Because it’s hard to keep up the lie. You won't hurt my feelings.

That’s how you get paid, on the comeback. You wrap up bags at J.C. Penney’s! Not y’all. Come on, man. ”How you doing, sir? Why?! Every time someone gets shot, people will. It is hard not to cheat. [Seinfeld is known for his love for cereals] Now, let’s run down the case. ”Yeah, grab a ball, make yourself useful.”. What the hell is wrong with these kids? live from the world-famous Apollo Theater... What the hell is wrong with these white kids. He’d be Orenthal the Bus Driving Murderer. ‘Cause you don’t want to know. Did she toss your salad? That’s right. Do you know who I really feel for, who I feel for more than anybody else? “I prefer syrup!” I’m not making this up! Every time someone gets shot, people will be like, ”Damn, he must have did something. There’s some good pussy under this gut!” That’s right. They’ll stop talking, stop fucking. ??? listen to your punk ass? But she never forgets! Chris Rock: Bigger & Blacker Comedian Chris Rock makes a raucous return to his stand-up roots in this HBO special filmed at Harlem's legendary Apollo Theater. I don’t wanna hear no shit! They won’t act so white guy won’t do no shit like that! People think about getting high right now. ”Do you got a vest?

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